Think Over It !!

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
Dennis P. Kimbro

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I miss those fights

My son is sometimes very keen on listening to my childhood stories. Of course he can not appreciate the difference, how things have changed so much but certainly he likes to hear what we used to do in the days when T.V meant only Doordarshan.

The other day I was telling him the story of our(three siblings) fights. We used to have physical fights(how I miss them now !) over various issues :) but what I like  is the way sometimes it would get over(one particular way of ending the serious wars :)). I must say it used to be my sister and brother(both younger) who would fight most of the time and my attempts to stop them would end up first being the referee and finally  being an active participant in the ongoing event . After fighting with pillows, pulling bed covers and some other stuff also, we would go back to sullah safai mode. All things used as weapons would be put back to their respective places. After exchanging the sorry word few times it would be time to have tea and samosa(from the red cross canteen near our house). I, being the eldest will make tea, my brother, though youngest, being a boy will go and buy three samosas(one each !). We shall sit on the floor and enjoy the treat. My sister and brother both would not eat the potatoes inside and would exchange them with me for the outer cover :). Everything  would be fine and the fight becomes a history. Not a word would be uttered to the mother or father (who used to be out for their respective jobs).  The samosa luxary was available on certain days of our vacation time only.

Now three of us married and settled in our own lives hardly ever get to have those carefree moments. Ah how I miss those days and specially the fights !!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

On a low tide !

Am trying to get over a slow start of the day. Some days are like this. Without any consciously known reason you feel low.  The only plus I see here is that rather than taking it out on others(which I end up doing several times on such occasions) I am trying to tackle it on my own. (Good effort, must give a pat on my back ) I think I am my worst critic. And this is causing more harm than good.  I worry a lot about what others think about me. Am too kind to others and harsh to my own self.  I do not have to make much effort to forgive others but do not even think of forgiving myself !  It is slowly dawning upon me what is overwhelming me at the moment. The work demands shift in gears !! And inertia of rest/slow speed is coming in the way.  The only way out is to get going.  So here I go to make another effort.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Hum chale !

Now why on earth do I believe so ? After 26/11(I was fortunate not to watch the bloody mayhem on the TV, I just read the news paper)I was very much disturbed and scared for days. And of course the discussions with the friends were of only this and how the state system  failed us. There were so many to blame -the police, the intelligence agency and our favourite target -netas and so on. 
The discussion,the debates made me more restless rather than relieving even a bit of stress I had. I kept on thinking how it could have not happened ! Why was I so scared ? After all(touchwood)nobody I knew was there and terrorist attacks in India were no novelty. Moreover I grew up along with the turmoil in Punjab in the 80's.

After much self debates and reasoning I concluded that I was scared because of the way it happened. It increased the probability of this happening to me or someone close. The usual desire to change the system was surging very high and of course reason for the added anxiety. In no way I could have changed the system. Forget the system it is so difficult to change my six year old one !!! That led to another revelation-the only way to change the system is to change yourself. The only way to contribute and make everything more efficient is through your very own self. So I decided I shall work on improving my efficiency. My efficiency as a student(am still studying),as a mother, as a spouse and last but not the least as a member of the society we live in. How to contribute to the society is a very subjective issue and I shall not get into that. And I decided to stop myself telling others what to do and what not to do(but then exceptions are always there-leaves the family:)-). The crux is do whatever you can in your capacity. Do not preach.